How did my kids handle me being a surrogate twice?
When I have my in-person interview with a surrogate and I ask the question about how your kids feel about surrogacy, the number one answer I get is, “well they are too little, they will not understand.” Well, that is just complete nonsense. When I started my first journey my littlest was one year old. She was two by the time the babies were born. That little brain of hers understood exactly what was going on. My oldest was only four.
I didn’t give them the scientific meaning and explanation about what was going on, I explained it to them in terms that they would understand. At the time we didn’t buy any books. We were lucky enough with both journeys that the parents were very involved and had many conversations with us and our kids. So, my kids saw who this baby that we were growing and taking care of was going to after it was born. I say “we” because we all go through mom getting bigger and tired. They both had to help me when I got tired. I feel that was of huge importance to them to see that this baby had a home and it was not with us.
So by the second time, my kids were pros. When a kid at school would make the big sister comment to them, they would correct them and say “no I’m not” with an explanation about surrogacy, It became very cool to see them talk to other kids about it.
Every kid is different and every kid reacts to things differently, we are parents who know our kids and know how they learn, so it's up to us to show or teach them in the best way we can. Kids are amazing humans.
If you think that your child would have a hard time with surrogacy and want to know more about how to approach them don’t be afraid to ask. I know my child will talk to you for hours about her surrogacy experiences.